Humans originally existed as members of small bands of
nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
mountains during the summer and would go to the coast
and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the
invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel
was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation
of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the
splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the
beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum
can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting
around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close
to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q
at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning
of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting
learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for
the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair
dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
The rest became known as girliemen.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy,
group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide
how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by
the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the
elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but
most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They
eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu,
and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their
women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it
wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat
and still provide for their women. Conservatives are
big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines and
generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives
who own companies hire other conservatives
who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern
the producers and decide what to do with the production.
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than
Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained
in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.
They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and
created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be
noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to
angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A
Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of
the absolute truth of this history that it will be
forwarded immediately to other true believers and
to more liberals just to piss them off.
Just a Thought
Just a Thought
But hey.....Thats just Me....I could be wrong
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critter
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The Choice
Greetings in the Name of the Creator, the Most High, Ever Living, Ever Faithful, Ever Sure. Positive vibrations to all,
We face a crisis. Human beings today face the greatest threat to our survival that we have ever faced. We face the destruction of the life support systems that we depend on to exist. Look around you. The world is awash with toxic chemicals that we continue to manufacture. We plunder the sea. We pollute the air. We pillage our forests. And in the face of massive climatic disruption, the leader of what is arguably the most powerful empire this planet has ever seen refuses to do anything about it because it may hurt his business interests.
Western industrial society is addicted to fossil fuels. We are junkies to the crack pipe dream of consumerism. Genetic engineering just increases the risk. Hunger and famine stalk the poor while we deliberately poison the food that the rest of us eat with herbicides and pesticides. We continue to destroy our most important source of strength, which is: our communities. We cannot go on like this. We cannot continue.
All around the world, people are waking up to fact that we must change. We must change at a fundamental level and we must change now. It is about reexamining what it is to be a human being and rejecting the false choices handed to us by our politicians. We cannot continue to see ourselves as separate from one another or our planet. We cannot continue to see our Mother Earth as an object put there for us to exploit. We are part of this planet. We are made from this planet. We eat, drink, and breathe this planet. There is no separation.
Humans are unique in our potential and our ability to make change. We can be an eco-society if have the courage to take a stand. To decide for ourselves what kind of society we want to be, what kind of society we want to leave our children, our grandchildren, our great-grandchildren. The rich must learn to say "enough" so that all can have enough. If we want to survive, we must create a society that is truly built on justice, on non-violence, on true democracy and on ecological wisdom.
Yes, this is political. Everything you do is political, Where you shop, What you buy, How you travel. These are all political decisions. Right now people are being tortured and murdered for demanding their right to vote. But this is about more than just how you vote. An eco-society must be built at every level of society, through our individual action, in our communities, in our businesses, and in our governments.
This is our choice, not the false decision between what is liberal and what is conservative. These choices are real, they affect every one of us on this planet every day.
Choose wisely.
We face a crisis. Human beings today face the greatest threat to our survival that we have ever faced. We face the destruction of the life support systems that we depend on to exist. Look around you. The world is awash with toxic chemicals that we continue to manufacture. We plunder the sea. We pollute the air. We pillage our forests. And in the face of massive climatic disruption, the leader of what is arguably the most powerful empire this planet has ever seen refuses to do anything about it because it may hurt his business interests.
Western industrial society is addicted to fossil fuels. We are junkies to the crack pipe dream of consumerism. Genetic engineering just increases the risk. Hunger and famine stalk the poor while we deliberately poison the food that the rest of us eat with herbicides and pesticides. We continue to destroy our most important source of strength, which is: our communities. We cannot go on like this. We cannot continue.
All around the world, people are waking up to fact that we must change. We must change at a fundamental level and we must change now. It is about reexamining what it is to be a human being and rejecting the false choices handed to us by our politicians. We cannot continue to see ourselves as separate from one another or our planet. We cannot continue to see our Mother Earth as an object put there for us to exploit. We are part of this planet. We are made from this planet. We eat, drink, and breathe this planet. There is no separation.
Humans are unique in our potential and our ability to make change. We can be an eco-society if have the courage to take a stand. To decide for ourselves what kind of society we want to be, what kind of society we want to leave our children, our grandchildren, our great-grandchildren. The rich must learn to say "enough" so that all can have enough. If we want to survive, we must create a society that is truly built on justice, on non-violence, on true democracy and on ecological wisdom.
Yes, this is political. Everything you do is political, Where you shop, What you buy, How you travel. These are all political decisions. Right now people are being tortured and murdered for demanding their right to vote. But this is about more than just how you vote. An eco-society must be built at every level of society, through our individual action, in our communities, in our businesses, and in our governments.
This is our choice, not the false decision between what is liberal and what is conservative. These choices are real, they affect every one of us on this planet every day.
Choose wisely.
