One thing we all have in common here, well......most of us, is that we have friends and partners that we trust, some with our lives. More than a few of us also have something else in common, a friend who has betrayed that trust.
The longer the friendship, the longer it takes to get over the broken trust, and the deeper the wound. Some, like my Uncle Chuck, can never let it go. Others, like myself are able to eventually forgive. None of us are ever the same.
When you decide to stab a friend in the back, you should consider the fact that you will also never be the same. Are you ready to take that risk? Is the outcome of that knife wound worth the consequences?
A good friend is something you should fight to keep. They are few and far between.
Respectfully,
Joe Ribaudo
TRUST
Bond of Trust
A man's word is his bond and that bond creates trust. There is a relationship between individuals that is built on this trust. Break it and the the relationship will never be the same - even with the passage of time.
The U.S. Marine Corps uses the term "semper fidelis" or the shortened version "semper fi" which stands for "always faithful" for a reason. If you can't trust the person standing next to you in a firefight, the Corps will not succeed. The same stands true in companies and interpersonal relationships.
Good post Joe.
Roger
The U.S. Marine Corps uses the term "semper fidelis" or the shortened version "semper fi" which stands for "always faithful" for a reason. If you can't trust the person standing next to you in a firefight, the Corps will not succeed. The same stands true in companies and interpersonal relationships.
Good post Joe.
Roger
Very good post. But what does 'trust' encompass?
I think 'trust' is more than keeping a secret. 'Trust' is establishing a relationship and never abusing it. It is a mutual agreement between two parties to treat each other with respect especially during disagreement.
It is a sharing arrangement with no hidden agendas. No hidden facts.
'Trust' isn't built on a wisp 'o wind. It grows over time...years, decades. And it requires a ton of tolerance and maintenance.
"Trust" is elusive. But when you find it you have discovered the real treasure.
I think 'trust' is more than keeping a secret. 'Trust' is establishing a relationship and never abusing it. It is a mutual agreement between two parties to treat each other with respect especially during disagreement.
It is a sharing arrangement with no hidden agendas. No hidden facts.
'Trust' isn't built on a wisp 'o wind. It grows over time...years, decades. And it requires a ton of tolerance and maintenance.
"Trust" is elusive. But when you find it you have discovered the real treasure.
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Joe Ribaudo
- Expert
- Posts: 5453
- Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2002 10:36 pm
Just A Thought
Bushrat,
I had thought to start this thread, not knowing if it would continue, and not post in it again. Thought I had said my piece. Your post changed that and I felt compelled to add "just a thought".
Your post was an excellent continuation of the thread but no two people always hear the same passage with the same understanding. That means that one or the other might be offended by something misspoken, or words attributed to you that you might never have said.
Real friends know that these things can happen, and that is when the trust part of friendship steps in. Your first thought would be: I misheard, misunderstood or someone is in error, especially me.
Your last thought, if it comes at all, is that my friend has attacked me. If that turns out to be your first thought, than your friend is really just a "friendly acquaintance". It is a good thing to know the difference.
The conclusion that a "FRIEND" has betrayed your trust can only come with the passage of some time. It's not something you should wrap your mind around quickly. A friend is worth fighting to keep, even if you are only fighting yourself.
I trust this advise will be accepted in the manner it is intended, as I would not like to lose any friends over it.
Respectfully,
Joe Ribaudo
I had thought to start this thread, not knowing if it would continue, and not post in it again. Thought I had said my piece. Your post changed that and I felt compelled to add "just a thought".
Your post was an excellent continuation of the thread but no two people always hear the same passage with the same understanding. That means that one or the other might be offended by something misspoken, or words attributed to you that you might never have said.
Real friends know that these things can happen, and that is when the trust part of friendship steps in. Your first thought would be: I misheard, misunderstood or someone is in error, especially me.
Your last thought, if it comes at all, is that my friend has attacked me. If that turns out to be your first thought, than your friend is really just a "friendly acquaintance". It is a good thing to know the difference.
The conclusion that a "FRIEND" has betrayed your trust can only come with the passage of some time. It's not something you should wrap your mind around quickly. A friend is worth fighting to keep, even if you are only fighting yourself.
I trust this advise will be accepted in the manner it is intended, as I would not like to lose any friends over it.
Respectfully,
Joe Ribaudo
Joe,
Your last post was right on target and reminded me that when trust becomes an issue one must also look into the mirror. And your statement that friendship is related to the passage of time is particularly accurate.
We are all subject to the human condition (especially Dutch Hunters) and best remember it.
Your last post was right on target and reminded me that when trust becomes an issue one must also look into the mirror. And your statement that friendship is related to the passage of time is particularly accurate.
We are all subject to the human condition (especially Dutch Hunters) and best remember it.
Trust Is A Choice
Trust Is A Choice
Broken Trust is a dishonorable involvement that throws the spotlight on the real you.
Sometimes we have the tendency to believe that trust is a 100% all-or-nothing concept.
The anxiety is that we often get the wrong idea by holding to the irrational thinking of emotional reasoning which is the tendency to believe that if you feel a certain way it must be true.
However, trust is a ‘behavior,’ not a feeling.
It is our right to defend our relationship. Nonetheless, we must design the best strategies to deal with the problem.
When you say, I believe in you and your integrity it gives another the opportunity to correct a wrong. However, if the person elects not to broaden the borders by extending an interest in your feelings, do not allow yourself to become a slave to disappointment, if you do, then that person is the master in control of your life.
And, the dread of getting offended (stabbed in the back) is normal. This is a common consequence that continues to have an effect on each and every one of us.
Inner freedom is when you shift it to something more positive. This puts an end to stress and anxiety—Even if you are the only one who wants to work on it.
Like gold tried by fire to get rid of the impurities, we too, ought to press forward in purity by becoming smarter, wiser and ultimately, stronger.
It is easier to find people than to find friends.
Wrong friends may lead you down the wrong path full of hurt and disappointment.
We need to be especially careful when choosing friends for we learn each other's ways pick up each other’s habits, and sayings, likes and dislikes.
A true friend can help you, a friend can comfort you and friends certainly influence you whether you realize it or not.
buscar
Broken Trust is a dishonorable involvement that throws the spotlight on the real you.
Sometimes we have the tendency to believe that trust is a 100% all-or-nothing concept.
The anxiety is that we often get the wrong idea by holding to the irrational thinking of emotional reasoning which is the tendency to believe that if you feel a certain way it must be true.
However, trust is a ‘behavior,’ not a feeling.
It is our right to defend our relationship. Nonetheless, we must design the best strategies to deal with the problem.
When you say, I believe in you and your integrity it gives another the opportunity to correct a wrong. However, if the person elects not to broaden the borders by extending an interest in your feelings, do not allow yourself to become a slave to disappointment, if you do, then that person is the master in control of your life.
And, the dread of getting offended (stabbed in the back) is normal. This is a common consequence that continues to have an effect on each and every one of us.
Inner freedom is when you shift it to something more positive. This puts an end to stress and anxiety—Even if you are the only one who wants to work on it.
Like gold tried by fire to get rid of the impurities, we too, ought to press forward in purity by becoming smarter, wiser and ultimately, stronger.
It is easier to find people than to find friends.
Wrong friends may lead you down the wrong path full of hurt and disappointment.
We need to be especially careful when choosing friends for we learn each other's ways pick up each other’s habits, and sayings, likes and dislikes.
A true friend can help you, a friend can comfort you and friends certainly influence you whether you realize it or not.
buscar
I've been absent for awhile and low & behold whadda ya know......this subject is at the heart of my absence, my return from AZ was tainted by a brewing storm that started with a trust issue from 7 1/2 years ago and just keeps rearing it's ugly head. I've always believed (and have taught my Children) that everything you have can be "TAKEN" away from you......except for your Honor & Integrity, you must give those away. With Honor & Integrity comes "TRUST". I have not and will not give these away. Unfortunatly with trust comes vulnerability and sets yourself up to get shanked in the back (or in my case shot in the back) and when that happens it gets the wheels a turnin and makes a person think "Is trust worth the risk?" a question only each of us can answer for ourselves. I know my answer......I'm stickin to my guns on this one (no pun intended) and I still refuse to give my Honor & Integrity away....come what may.
This Fourm and my search for the LDM is a diversion for me, I don't give a Tinker's Damn if I ever find it........I do this in hopes of finding something to share with other Dutch Hunter's. So far...on the subject of the LDM I've not been able to share any information that will lead anybody any closer to Waltz's Mine then they already are, just a few tidbit's of information that my guess is nobody here remembers. However.......I do believe that a few of my posts have relevence in the search for a far more valuable treasure then any amount of gold.
Now....Am I insinuating that I have life all figured out and you should find true meaning in my words? Nope......just the ramblings of an old tired broken down Cowboy. Make of them what you will.
Greg Kaiser
This Fourm and my search for the LDM is a diversion for me, I don't give a Tinker's Damn if I ever find it........I do this in hopes of finding something to share with other Dutch Hunter's. So far...on the subject of the LDM I've not been able to share any information that will lead anybody any closer to Waltz's Mine then they already are, just a few tidbit's of information that my guess is nobody here remembers. However.......I do believe that a few of my posts have relevence in the search for a far more valuable treasure then any amount of gold.
Now....Am I insinuating that I have life all figured out and you should find true meaning in my words? Nope......just the ramblings of an old tired broken down Cowboy. Make of them what you will.
Greg Kaiser
But hey.....Thats just Me....I could be wrong
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Joe Ribaudo
- Expert
- Posts: 5453
- Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2002 10:36 pm
Trust.....But Confirm.
All,
For those who have tried to contact me by e-mail or private message on this site, I will be happy to respond.
However.......,
I do not have private conversations with members I don't know. Before we get involved in any private conversations, I will need: Your name, address and phone #. I will not make an exception and will give you the same information in return.
My paranoia is well known, so you will have to humor me.
Respectfully,
Joe Ribaudo
For those who have tried to contact me by e-mail or private message on this site, I will be happy to respond.
However.......,
I do not have private conversations with members I don't know. Before we get involved in any private conversations, I will need: Your name, address and phone #. I will not make an exception and will give you the same information in return.
My paranoia is well known, so you will have to humor me.
Respectfully,
Joe Ribaudo
Certainly all of us have experienced the pain of betrayal, and if we are willing to look into the mirror that Bushrat referred to, we would have to admit that we didn’t get through life without having been on the other end of the knife. Or as another man put it, “let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone.” Who among us has never betrayed a confidence, misunderstood a friend’s intensions, misspoke, misunderstood, or slighted one friend to appease another etc. etc. etc.
Friendship is the central theme of this thread, and like human nature itself, it is a two sided coin. While it is composed of trust on the one side, it is composed of forgiveness on the other. Like the proverbial coin, friendships must have both sides to be what they are. It is easier to condemn than to forgive those accused of betrayal because it allows us to forget our own mistakes as we cast dark shadows on the guilty; - shadows that come from standing in our own light. It seems to me that trust comes in two forms. Trust that is willing to forgive betrayal, and trust that is willing only to condemn betrayal. One opens friendships up to the possibility of growth, the other offers only stagnation and death. Forgiveness sees all enemies as potential friends; while an unwillingness to forgive sees all friends as only potential enemies.
We obtain our sense of self worth from our friends and they in turn from us. If all we offer someone who has slighted us is guilt for their mistake, we have robbed our self of the opportunity to be a real friend by offering them an opportunity to right their wrong and once again see themselves in a positive light through our eyes. Just my thoughts on the subject. Regards, Larry
Friendship is the central theme of this thread, and like human nature itself, it is a two sided coin. While it is composed of trust on the one side, it is composed of forgiveness on the other. Like the proverbial coin, friendships must have both sides to be what they are. It is easier to condemn than to forgive those accused of betrayal because it allows us to forget our own mistakes as we cast dark shadows on the guilty; - shadows that come from standing in our own light. It seems to me that trust comes in two forms. Trust that is willing to forgive betrayal, and trust that is willing only to condemn betrayal. One opens friendships up to the possibility of growth, the other offers only stagnation and death. Forgiveness sees all enemies as potential friends; while an unwillingness to forgive sees all friends as only potential enemies.
We obtain our sense of self worth from our friends and they in turn from us. If all we offer someone who has slighted us is guilt for their mistake, we have robbed our self of the opportunity to be a real friend by offering them an opportunity to right their wrong and once again see themselves in a positive light through our eyes. Just my thoughts on the subject. Regards, Larry