A Joke or Two

FRIENDLY, general interest, non LDM discussions with other forum members.
Post Reply
ThomasG
Part Timer
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 12:19 pm

A Joke or Two

Post by ThomasG » Sat Apr 27, 2019 9:48 am

Want to brighten up someone's day with innocent fun?

When you go into a Papa Murphy’s pizza as you pick up your order they will ask you : Do you have any questions? (temperature, timing, etc.)

Say, Yes. I do have a question. As they stop to answer you say: You know the Big Bang, created energy and out of that energy came matter and the fabric of space. Right? So if the Big Bang created energy and space where did it happen if there was no space before?

They listened, smiled and were entertained — then said: That’s a good question and they laugh a little. It breaks up the monotony of their day, .Being kind to people is not a bad thing!

Thomas

Somehiker
Part Timer
Posts: 440
Joined: Wed May 03, 2006 6:00 pm

Re: A Joke or Two

Post by Somehiker » Thu May 16, 2019 4:35 pm

Betcha didn't get an answer Thomas.....probably because the subject is all over their heads.

Somehiker
Part Timer
Posts: 440
Joined: Wed May 03, 2006 6:00 pm

Re: A Joke or Two

Post by Somehiker » Thu May 16, 2019 4:37 pm

WAY over their heads !!!

User avatar
Oroblanco
Part Timer
Posts: 417
Joined: Sat Oct 28, 2006 11:31 pm
Location: Black Hills SD
Contact:

Re: A Joke or Two

Post by Oroblanco » Sun Jun 09, 2019 6:46 pm

Stolen from FB - the next time the checkout clerk in any store asks you "Did you find everything?" Reply - "Why, are you hiding something?"
"We must find a way, or we will make one." --Hannibal Barca

don
Part Timer
Posts: 373
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2002 12:17 pm
Location: united kingdom

Re: A Joke or Two

Post by don » Wed Oct 16, 2019 11:38 am

here is a rather long joke...i laughed when told it,but not really sure why..in fact the more i think of it ,the more i think is it funny or not? anyway here goes.
man in barber shop having his haircut...the conversation between him and the barber goes thus.
barber ."going on holiday this year?"
man " yes in fact im going this week directly after this hair cut is finished"
barber "where are you going"
man "italy"
barber "italy? waddya wanna go there for? all italians are thieves and pickpockets and distinctly unfriendly! anyway what part of italy?"
man "rome"
barber " rome is a dump..a filthy place ,you DO NOT wanna go there -believe me!...how are you getting there?"
man "italian airways"
barber "italian airways? you sure are a sucker for punishment arent you? their planes are unsafe,your luggage will end up anywhere in the world but your destination...the hostesses are ignorant and lazy....youll be lucky to survive the take off let alone the journey!..anyhow what hotel are you staying at?"
man "hotel roma"
barber "hotel roma!! jesus! that place is full of cockroaches ..the food is awful,the place is falling to bits ..you must be nuts! anyway what ya gonna do there?"
man " thought id visit the colliseum and the vatican and im hoping i might be able to have a chat with the pope while im there"
barber "well...take it from me-the collisseum is just a pile of debris -awful place ,nothing to see there and as for talking to the pope-well good luck with that one! youve got no chance!"
haircut is finished and the man leaves..a month later he returns for another haircut.
barber "how did your holiday go?"
man "had a great time...the italians were lovely people ..rome is beautiful,very clean city...the flight over there was perfect..luggage arrived safely ,plane was very comfortable and the hostesses were brilliant. the hotel was lovely too..not a cockroach to be seen ...the food was first class....and the collisseum was /is a marvelous piece of architecture....visited the vatican and while walking round the vatican square,a swiss guard came up and told me that the pope had seen me walking round abnd wanted me to have a cup of tea and a chat ..."
barber "he did? what did you talk about"
man "well i asked him why out of all the thousands of people in the square that day,why had he chosen me to speak too?"
barber " and what did he say?"
man "he said he picked me out of all the people there because he wanted to ask me who gave me the crappy haircut"
Don update your email address

Post Reply