Just Stories and Jokes non LDM

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redison
Part Timer
Posts: 124
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2005 12:29 pm

Just Stories and Jokes non LDM

Post by redison »

How about a Topic for posting all those great Jokes and stories you get in e-mail?



TWO GREAT TRUE STORIES....

STORY NUMBER ONE

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but also Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him. Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had the best of everything: clothes, cars and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong.

Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name and a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified.

Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he would ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion and a poem clipped from a magazine.

The poem read:
The clock of life is wound but once
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour.

Now is the only time you own.
Live, love, toil with a will.
Place no faith in time.
For the clock may soon be still.



STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.

One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.

As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold, a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the American fleet.

The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger.

There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet. Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as
possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of
damaging as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly.

Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction. Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier. Upon arrival he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet.
He had in fact destroyed five enemy aircraft.

This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial
combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.

So the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's Memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.
Jan
Part Timer
Posts: 72
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 6:49 am

It might work

Post by Jan »


I BELIEVE...

I believe - That we don't have to change friends if we understand
that friends change.
I believe - That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to
hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive
them for that.
I believe - That true friendship continues to grow, even over the
longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe - That you can do something in an instant that will give
you heartache for life.
I believe - That it's taking me a long time to become the person
I want to be.
I believe - That you should always leave loved ones with loving
words. It may be the last time you see them.
I believe - That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I believe - That we are responsible for what we do, no matter
how we feel.
I believe - That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe - That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship
is at first, the passion fades and there had better be
something else to take its place,
I believe - That heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe - That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe - That my best friends and I can do anything or nothing
and have the best time.
I believe - That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when
you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe - That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be
angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe - That just because someone doesn't love you the way
you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you
with all they have.
I believe - That maturity has more to do with what types of
experiences you've had and what you've learned from
them and less to do with how many birthdays
you've celebrated.
I believe - That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe - That no matter how bad your heart is broken the
world doesn't stop for your grief.
I believe - That our background and circumstances may
have influenced who we are, but we are responsible
for who we become.
I believe - That just because two people argue, it doesn't
mean they don't love each other. And just because they
don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe - That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I believe - That two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I believe - That your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I believe - That even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you - you will find
the strength to help.
I believe - That credentials on the wall do not make you
a decent human being.
I believe - That the people you care about most in
life are taken from you too soon.
redison
Part Timer
Posts: 124
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2005 12:29 pm

Post by redison »

Quote of the month. (Out dated but still good!)


Tim Allen, comedian, had this to say about Martha
Stewart:

"Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. &
Kobe are walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but
they take the one woman in America willing to cook,
clean and work in the yard and put her ass in jail."
Bandit
Part Timer
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2003 1:34 pm
Location: Oregon

LDM

Post by Bandit »

I believe that if you have important information but you keep it secret it is worth nothing. To yourself and mankind.


Bandit
Ray Tucker
Greenhorn
Posts: 16
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2005 8:34 pm

Subject: FiFi

Post by Ray Tucker »

FIFI

The train was quite crowded, so the U. S. Marine walked its entire
length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a
well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular,
"Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was
under that dog.

"Please, ma'am, may I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word. He just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this
American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans often
seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork
in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.
And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
Wiz
Expert
Posts: 643
Joined: Fri May 24, 2002 2:55 am

Post by Wiz »

Two blondes are reading a headline:

"Two Brazilian Soldiers Killed".

After a few minutes, one says to the other, "How many is a brazilian?"
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